Well here I am again, another sleepless night with too much on my mind. I guess for some reason McAlester has been deemed worthy of receiving rain. That may be an exaggeration as it is more like mere sprinkles from the sky. Just another hint of stuff that winds up not working out as expected. That’s okay too since I am getting used to that. Slowly. True, I still get exasperated when things fail to reach the expectations that I was looking for but there really is something worthwhile to get out of it. Most times it seems like it is something trivial but I wind up making note of it and storing it away for future reference anyway. Somehow these little tidbits will make some other decision easier to make somewhere along the way in the future. For now, it still isn’t what I was looking for in the first place. Oh well, pick it up, store it and use it when the time comes.
Still, every now and then something worthwhile actually turns up that makes me stop and take notice. Something new I find out about myself. Some thought that was nothing but a bunch of words some months back that actually mean something now. Maybe some new changes in lifestyle for the better that someone has to tell me of before I notice.
I was thinking about such things Saturday night at my favorite hangout (it was either there or the office since the a/c wasn’t working for me at the house and hasn’t for the past week) when I realized just how far I have come since way back in February. Looking back on it now I wonder what I was thinking, or maybe more like why wasn’t I thinking at all. As if I have all the answers now. Whatever. It will probably be many more months before I can be more objective about it all before it makes any sense to me. Nor can I say that the external factors have gotten any better, perhaps in some ways some of them have gotten worse. I am just dealing with them a lot better now and doing what I can to work everything out. It’s not easy but it is what must be done.
Something else I have been thinking about is making adjustments to the activities I am involved with. There seems to be so much I am trying to do that nothing seems to get done like it should. But that isn’t just with the things that need to be done (at least there is a lot of progress there). For example even though I actually did a number of photo sessions with friends last month I just never got to do anything for me. As usual. Which by the way is something else I am trying to change.
Today I did get to take photos of my grandson. Hard to believe that he is almost 13 months old already! Yet it also seems like years ago that we were at the hospital to celebrate his arrival. That doesn’t seem to make any sense but I do understand it perfectly. Here is one of those shots:
He is so growing up. I had forgotten how fast the changes take place as my boss and I were talking about that subject in relation to our grandchildren as one of the other new mothers had brought in her newborn child and how small she was compared to ours. Fast.
Another thing I was thinking about was what I am going to continue to do with this blog. Again, doing so much but neglecting this site. I would like to do more with it, just undecided as to what direction to take it. I am thinking about making this not as personal as I have and apply it to something, just don’t know what. But that is something that I can take my time with before deciding what to do. After all, right now it is nothing but an outlet for me and maybe that’s all it needs to be. I don’t know yet but I think something will change eventually.
So that is where things are for now. Hoping that some other changes start to come together this week. That would be making a lot more progress and I am ready for it.
